I'm Not a Hugger

Confession time, folks: I'm not a very affectionate person.

Well, at least not with everyone. I'm the kind of person who will take a while to warm up to you. Not because I dislike people, I just like having my personal space and I get a bit selective about who I choose to let in it. 
I thought about this recently because I went to a co-worker's birthday party. She invited some of her friends outside of work (who were all lovely people). I had a great time but when we were saying our goodbyes, a LOT of her friends declared "I'm a hugger, no handshakes!" and just... bearhugged me. I'm used to huggers and I mostly just deal with this as gracefully as I can but to be honest, I get quite uncomfortable when people I don't know hug me (when I was younger, I used to squirm and I even cried for help once... that was an uncomfortably awkward situation I created for myself). I get that some people are more affectionate than others and I think that's great! I also think it's a bit unfair to impose that on people who... well take a bit of time to warm up to others. I talked to my friend about this and she thought this was ironic because I'm perfectly fine with people kissing me on the cheek as a greeting. "Isn't that more intimate?" she asked. Actually, I don't think so. A kiss on the cheek can be cold and chaste but it's nearly impossible to give someone an angry hug.  Hugs are a sign of intimacy expressed with your whole body rather than just a part of it.

So what about you guys? Are you unaffectionate like me or do you live for hugs? Let me know your thoughts on the matter in the comments!


  1. Haha, this post is me too! Unless it's a family member or someone I'm really close to, I'm not a hugger either!

  2. Totally get what you're saying. I'm like that too! Fortunately, here in Portugal people usually aren't great hugers :p

  3. Totally on the same page. I'm not a hugger! For me, kissing people on the cheek is also better preferred over hugs. It's dutch custom to greet everyone with three kisses (like they do in fancy/posh British land.. some celebrities do it too) but we add a third. Mwah, mwah, mwah! It's nice to know that you feel hugging is more intimate, too. I don't feel so out of place now!

    Much Love,
    -Stephanie Eva

  4. same here! i am so awkward with affection
    xx http://1finedai.blogspot.com/

  5. I hate hugs. Don't touch me. I need my space bubble. I remember in high school after graduation, everyone was hugging, and I offered handshakes instead to my friends!


  6. I totally agree with you on hugs being way more intimate than kisses on the cheek! That being said, I'm totally one of those people that says "no handshakes" haha (unlike you and apparently every other commenter lol). Idk, maybe that's because I was raised around hugs all the time it just feels so mean to spend a great time with someone and then NOT hug them. Haha...I would be offended if I had a night out with someone and then they wanted to shake my hand!

  7. lol! I absolutely hate kisses on the cheek! Would prefer a hug... but still, not with guys or people I don't know! They are way to personal :)




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